1 00:00:23,660 --> 00:00:25,740 Shall I take your bags downstairs, love? 2 00:00:25,740 --> 00:00:27,980 Oh, it's just... It's just one bag. 3 00:00:27,980 --> 00:00:29,340 Quite, small. They don't... 4 00:00:29,340 --> 00:00:30,460 I don't... 5 00:00:30,460 --> 00:00:31,860 They don't want me to bring much. 6 00:00:31,860 --> 00:00:34,380 No, no, no. Yes, I read the booklet. 7 00:00:36,220 --> 00:00:37,580 So I can carry it. 8 00:00:37,580 --> 00:00:39,820 I always thought we should have redecorated this room. 9 00:00:39,820 --> 00:00:41,340 It was on my list, actually. 10 00:00:41,340 --> 00:00:42,780 Well, you can now. 11 00:00:42,780 --> 00:00:44,740 No, no, no. I meant for you. I meant, 12 00:00:44,740 --> 00:00:46,780 this room was done up for a seven-year-old. 13 00:00:46,780 --> 00:00:48,340 You've deers on the wallpaper. 14 00:00:48,340 --> 00:00:51,500 I should've given it a lick of blue paint over the summer sometime. 15 00:00:51,500 --> 00:00:54,140 Made it feel more like a grown-up's room. 16 00:00:54,140 --> 00:00:55,900 I like it. 17 00:00:55,900 --> 00:00:57,780 My point is, 18 00:00:57,780 --> 00:01:01,140 I think you grew up and I didn't notice. 19 00:01:04,220 --> 00:01:06,740 Well, Dad, none of this is to upset you. 20 00:01:08,260 --> 00:01:10,540 I found an answer to something, that's all. 21 00:01:13,340 --> 00:01:14,580 KNOCK ON DOOR 22 00:01:14,580 --> 00:01:16,060 Muriel? Are you there? 23 00:01:19,060 --> 00:01:21,260 KNOCK ON DOOR Anna? 24 00:01:21,260 --> 00:01:22,500 Er, if, if you're there... 25 00:01:23,980 --> 00:01:25,380 ...Ithink we need to talk. 26 00:01:27,500 --> 00:01:30,780 I-I'm just posting my number through the door. 27 00:01:32,420 --> 00:01:34,580 I'd just like to talk. Talk more. 28 00:01:35,700 --> 00:01:37,100 That's all. 29 00:02:33,620 --> 00:02:35,820 SIREN WAILS 30 00:02:52,660 --> 00:02:53,940 Oh! 31 00:02:55,740 --> 00:02:57,100 No honey sandwiches? 32 00:02:57,100 --> 00:03:00,260 No, I'm sure I can rustle something up. 33 00:03:00,260 --> 00:03:02,140 Yeah? Don't. 34 00:03:06,260 --> 00:03:07,580 How you doing? 35 00:03:12,220 --> 00:03:14,380 MACHINE BEEPS STEADILY 36 00:03:24,180 --> 00:03:26,300 Oh, you brought him? 37 00:03:26,300 --> 00:03:27,460 Yeah. 38 00:03:28,700 --> 00:03:31,220 You been waiting long, Father? 39 00:03:31,220 --> 00:03:32,980 I'm sorry to keep you, 40 00:03:32,980 --> 00:03:36,020 I'm having a bladder reaction to the drugs or something 41 00:03:36,020 --> 00:03:38,220 and they were changing my pads. 42 00:03:39,500 --> 00:03:41,820 This a right level of embarrassing for you? 43 00:03:41,820 --> 00:03:43,740 Yep. 44 00:03:43,740 --> 00:03:47,020 Do you want...? Would you prefer some private time? 45 00:03:47,020 --> 00:03:48,580 No. 46 00:03:48,580 --> 00:03:51,060 She wanted you here. 47 00:03:51,060 --> 00:03:54,140 Besides, we've had enough of that. 48 00:03:54,140 --> 00:03:56,140 She's bored of me yapping away, 49 00:03:56,140 --> 00:03:59,820 complaining about this, that, the other. 50 00:03:59,820 --> 00:04:01,180 Are you in pain? 51 00:04:01,180 --> 00:04:02,780 Oh, yeah. 52 00:04:02,780 --> 00:04:04,900 And it's on my notes that I'm an addict 53 00:04:04,900 --> 00:04:07,420 so they're being very cheap with the painkillers. 54 00:04:10,380 --> 00:04:15,220 Er, Tina wanted me to come and ask what you wanted to do next. 55 00:04:16,540 --> 00:04:17,860 Oh, I'd like to go home 56 00:04:17,860 --> 00:04:19,820 and live my life, thank you very much. 57 00:04:21,900 --> 00:04:28,620 I suppose I am concerned that, with Tina's baby on the way... 58 00:04:28,620 --> 00:04:32,940 What, I'll let him back in and he'll mess up that kid, too? 59 00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:34,460 You're still charming. 60 00:04:36,420 --> 00:04:37,780 Tina wants help. 61 00:04:39,220 --> 00:04:40,380 I just... 62 00:04:40,380 --> 00:04:42,580 I want things to be different now. 63 00:04:46,940 --> 00:04:48,540 So you went to a priest? 64 00:04:49,700 --> 00:04:52,660 I'm not a priest. Not here. 65 00:04:52,660 --> 00:04:55,660 Just someone who cares. 66 00:04:55,660 --> 00:04:59,100 We all care, Father. 67 00:04:59,100 --> 00:05:00,940 Some more than we should. 68 00:05:16,060 --> 00:05:21,020 I am through with vetting families for schools. 69 00:05:21,020 --> 00:05:23,820 Little Algernon is a firm Catholic. 70 00:05:23,820 --> 00:05:26,700 We can't attend, of course, we dry ski on Sundays, 71 00:05:26,700 --> 00:05:28,300 but he prays daily 72 00:05:28,300 --> 00:05:31,100 and we bought him some of your holy beads from Amazon. 73 00:05:31,100 --> 00:05:32,620 Show him, Algy, show him. 74 00:05:32,620 --> 00:05:34,540 I'm sure his name isn't Algernon. 75 00:05:34,540 --> 00:05:38,300 No. He's called Biscuit or some such nonsense. 76 00:05:40,500 --> 00:05:41,580 Sermon? 77 00:05:43,100 --> 00:05:45,580 Oh, it's my sister's marriage blessing. 78 00:05:47,260 --> 00:05:48,740 I didn't see it in the diary. 79 00:05:48,740 --> 00:05:50,460 Second marriage. Ah. 80 00:05:51,860 --> 00:05:54,700 First one was... Bloke was an arsehole. 81 00:05:56,260 --> 00:06:00,140 It's a registry office wedding and then a blessing in the garden. 82 00:06:00,140 --> 00:06:03,980 Then praise be she's getting on the horse again. 83 00:06:03,980 --> 00:06:07,980 What? The Church isn't right about everything, 84 00:06:07,980 --> 00:06:09,740 and I like your sister. 85 00:06:09,740 --> 00:06:11,180 HE CHUCKLES 86 00:06:11,180 --> 00:06:14,740 And I like people getting on horses. 87 00:06:14,740 --> 00:06:18,220 I'm extending an awkward metaphor. 88 00:06:18,220 --> 00:06:21,340 I'm checking you're getting the help you need. 89 00:06:22,420 --> 00:06:25,780 I'm getting the help I need. 90 00:06:25,780 --> 00:06:28,580 A lot of which is coming from my sister. 91 00:06:28,580 --> 00:06:29,780 Well, that's good. 92 00:06:32,740 --> 00:06:36,500 I was concerned, etc. 93 00:06:36,500 --> 00:06:39,500 I won't interfere, etc. 94 00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:40,860 Consider me spent. 95 00:06:42,260 --> 00:06:43,700 Thank you. 96 00:06:45,180 --> 00:06:50,940 Now, we've had a strange request I didn't know whether to pass on. 97 00:06:50,940 --> 00:06:55,060 The chaplain at HMP Avonmouth has requested a visit. 98 00:06:55,060 --> 00:06:57,540 What? Why? Why would...? 99 00:06:57,540 --> 00:06:59,740 A parishioner has requested you. 100 00:06:59,740 --> 00:07:01,060 Tina's father. 101 00:07:02,180 --> 00:07:04,100 I don't think you should. 102 00:07:04,100 --> 00:07:06,940 I'm not even sure Tina would like you going. 103 00:07:09,860 --> 00:07:12,620 But... your decision. 104 00:07:18,140 --> 00:07:20,820 CHOIR SING HYMN TO ST CELIA 105 00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:55,340 Oh. 106 00:07:57,900 --> 00:07:59,740 I...I wasn't sure whether to... 107 00:07:59,740 --> 00:08:02,540 Knocked for you like four or five times at Muriel's. 108 00:08:02,540 --> 00:08:04,620 You haven't been home. 109 00:08:04,620 --> 00:08:06,780 Well, that is impressive of you. 110 00:08:06,780 --> 00:08:09,660 I've rung. Repeatedly. 111 00:08:09,660 --> 00:08:11,500 You've done a lot. 112 00:08:11,500 --> 00:08:13,340 Very thorough. 113 00:08:13,340 --> 00:08:15,740 It's, beginning to sound like harassment. 114 00:08:18,980 --> 00:08:21,100 I, um... 115 00:08:21,100 --> 00:08:22,540 I wanted to talk to you. 116 00:08:23,820 --> 00:08:25,220 I'm aware. 117 00:08:27,700 --> 00:08:33,380 I just wanted to say that I stand by everything I've said. 118 00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:36,460 I've... I've thought about it and, 119 00:08:36,460 --> 00:08:38,420 this doesn't often happen to me, but... 120 00:08:39,980 --> 00:08:41,540 ...I think I was right. 121 00:08:43,260 --> 00:08:45,700 I think you and I should accept that 122 00:08:45,700 --> 00:08:48,540 what happened between us was meaningful, 123 00:08:48,540 --> 00:08:50,420 but not in the way, 124 00:08:50,420 --> 00:08:54,860 well not... not the way that I thought it to be meaningful. 125 00:08:54,860 --> 00:08:57,180 Can I speak now? 126 00:08:57,180 --> 00:08:58,420 No. 127 00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:01,620 Yes. If you want to. 128 00:09:05,740 --> 00:09:06,980 You are... 129 00:09:06,980 --> 00:09:09,260 But you're... you're not allowed to compliment me. 130 00:09:09,260 --> 00:09:13,060 Can you...? Just if, for instance, you were going to say 131 00:09:13,060 --> 00:09:16,740 that I was formidable or fantastic, 132 00:09:16,740 --> 00:09:18,820 or even just interesting, 133 00:09:18,820 --> 00:09:21,380 or anything about how I look or how I am, 134 00:09:21,380 --> 00:09:24,700 then that, that wouldn't be OK to say. 135 00:09:24,700 --> 00:09:26,540 Why not? 136 00:09:28,540 --> 00:09:30,740 Look, can we just start from the beginning? I mean... 137 00:09:30,740 --> 00:09:33,700 Look, the beginning and the end 138 00:09:33,700 --> 00:09:36,940 is that I changed my life for you. 139 00:09:36,940 --> 00:09:39,420 And you are not responsible for that. 140 00:09:39,420 --> 00:09:41,900 I really... I really hope I've made it clear 141 00:09:41,900 --> 00:09:44,580 that you are not responsible for that. 142 00:09:44,580 --> 00:09:46,060 It's... 143 00:09:46,060 --> 00:09:47,420 It's just the truth. 144 00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:51,700 I fi... I've found all of this very confusing. 145 00:09:51,700 --> 00:09:53,260 I apologise. 146 00:09:53,260 --> 00:10:00,300 I also hope I've made it clear that it was all me and 147 00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:02,420 I...I do apologise for your confusion. 148 00:10:02,420 --> 00:10:03,620 But it wasn't all you. 149 00:10:03,620 --> 00:10:05,140 You're not allowed to say that either. 150 00:10:05,140 --> 00:10:06,780 Anna, what am I allowed to say? 151 00:10:11,340 --> 00:10:13,260 Have you been praying? 152 00:10:13,260 --> 00:10:14,580 About you? 153 00:10:14,580 --> 00:10:18,340 God, no... No, not about me. 154 00:10:18,340 --> 00:10:20,380 I just mean have you... 155 00:10:20,380 --> 00:10:23,540 Have you been praying generally? 156 00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:29,260 I feel like I've been the cause of some spiritual undoing 157 00:10:29,260 --> 00:10:31,900 and I just... 158 00:10:31,900 --> 00:10:33,740 I just wanted to make sure that you've been... 159 00:10:33,740 --> 00:10:36,260 You've been praying again. 160 00:10:36,260 --> 00:10:39,060 Yeah, I've been praying. 161 00:10:39,060 --> 00:10:40,500 Have you? 162 00:10:40,500 --> 00:10:41,500 Yes. 163 00:10:42,740 --> 00:10:47,300 I've also been going more regularly to Alcoholics Anonymous. 164 00:10:47,300 --> 00:10:52,020 It's not something I want advertised but something you probably guessed. 165 00:10:55,620 --> 00:10:58,780 Yeah, I did... 166 00:10:58,780 --> 00:11:01,100 ...sense that. And that's helpful? 167 00:11:02,780 --> 00:11:05,060 Think so. My sister's... 168 00:11:07,940 --> 00:11:09,140 Good people around me. 169 00:11:11,180 --> 00:11:14,820 You're not to feel responsible. 170 00:11:14,820 --> 00:11:18,100 You shouldn't apologise. I should. 171 00:11:18,100 --> 00:11:20,820 I'm sorry. 172 00:11:20,820 --> 00:11:25,140 I behaved towards you like... 173 00:11:25,140 --> 00:11:28,540 I felt... You-you made me feel things. 174 00:11:28,540 --> 00:11:30,060 I need you to know that. 175 00:11:32,420 --> 00:11:34,260 You made me feel things. 176 00:11:38,060 --> 00:11:41,940 Now I...I'm trying to set myself right. 177 00:11:41,940 --> 00:11:44,500 I'm determined to be a good priest. 178 00:11:44,500 --> 00:11:46,900 Or at least the best priest I'm capable of being. 179 00:11:49,140 --> 00:11:52,620 My confusion was never you. 180 00:11:52,620 --> 00:11:54,260 It was... 181 00:11:56,380 --> 00:11:58,060 You brought to light... 182 00:11:58,060 --> 00:12:00,460 Well, you've done a bit more than bring to light. 183 00:12:05,940 --> 00:12:11,620 At AA, we try to explain not who we are but why we are, 184 00:12:11,620 --> 00:12:17,860 and I think you saw the who but not the why. 185 00:12:19,700 --> 00:12:22,580 I think my understanding of what I should be has been... 186 00:12:22,580 --> 00:12:25,340 I think I've been trying to help people in the wrong way. 187 00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:28,220 And which way is that? 188 00:12:28,220 --> 00:12:31,380 Saving people. 189 00:12:31,380 --> 00:12:33,780 It's an addiction like any other. 190 00:13:04,660 --> 00:13:10,060 Wonderful's the word I would've used to describe you. 191 00:13:16,420 --> 00:13:18,140 See you again. 192 00:13:20,540 --> 00:13:22,420 Not if I see you first. 193 00:14:02,980 --> 00:14:04,860 DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES 194 00:14:06,060 --> 00:14:09,020 Is that you? 195 00:14:09,020 --> 00:14:11,700 Oh, of course it's you, 196 00:14:11,700 --> 00:14:13,500 I'm due on shift. 197 00:14:13,500 --> 00:14:15,540 Oh, I've cooked. 198 00:14:15,540 --> 00:14:17,540 A disgusting idea, I know. 199 00:14:17,540 --> 00:14:19,780 But on the off chance you're not repulsed, 200 00:14:19,780 --> 00:14:22,820 there's half a shepherd's pie in the oven. 201 00:14:22,820 --> 00:14:24,860 You look like you're coming down with a cold. 202 00:14:24,860 --> 00:14:26,460 No. No, I'm fine. 203 00:14:26,460 --> 00:14:27,980 You sure? 204 00:14:27,980 --> 00:14:29,340 What time are you back? 205 00:14:29,340 --> 00:14:33,660 Shift ends 5am. Very lucky, I know. Come here. 206 00:14:34,940 --> 00:14:36,060 Eat the pie. 207 00:14:39,700 --> 00:14:42,220 DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES 208 00:14:46,700 --> 00:14:48,940 TV PLAYS 209 00:15:47,820 --> 00:15:50,300 LOUD MUSIC AND INDISTINCT CHATTER 210 00:16:01,740 --> 00:16:04,340 Hi, can I have a glass of red wine, please? 211 00:16:04,340 --> 00:16:05,780 We've got a list if you want to... 212 00:16:05,780 --> 00:16:07,220 Oh, just the... Just the cheapest. 213 00:16:07,220 --> 00:16:09,220 Coming right up. 214 00:16:46,820 --> 00:16:48,620 SHE EXHALES 215 00:16:49,740 --> 00:16:51,020 It's OK. 216 00:18:37,220 --> 00:18:38,820 Hi. Hi. 217 00:18:42,580 --> 00:18:47,460 You waiting for someone? Er, no, no. I... 218 00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:50,420 I just couldn't stay in the house any longer. 219 00:18:50,420 --> 00:18:52,860 Huh. How come? 220 00:18:52,860 --> 00:18:54,980 Er... 221 00:18:54,980 --> 00:18:58,820 Irritated by the sound of my own thoughts. 222 00:18:58,820 --> 00:19:01,660 I know that feeling. 223 00:19:01,660 --> 00:19:03,100 Tony. 224 00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:05,260 Anna. Hi. Hi. 225 00:19:11,180 --> 00:19:13,140 Who... who are you with? 226 00:19:13,140 --> 00:19:15,060 Uh, my brother and his wife. 227 00:19:15,060 --> 00:19:17,540 Yeah, they came here to get away from their kids 228 00:19:17,540 --> 00:19:19,900 and they just want to talk about their kids. 229 00:19:19,900 --> 00:19:22,940 THEY CHUCKLE 230 00:19:22,940 --> 00:19:24,660 You got children? 231 00:19:24,660 --> 00:19:26,380 No. No. You? 232 00:19:26,380 --> 00:19:29,620 Uh, yeah, yeah, one. Ben. He's 11. 233 00:19:29,620 --> 00:19:33,980 His mum and I are divorced. It's... it's tricky. 234 00:19:33,980 --> 00:19:35,780 Yeah. I can imagine. 235 00:19:38,580 --> 00:19:41,420 What do you do, Anna? 236 00:19:41,420 --> 00:19:45,420 Uh, I'm a... cook. 237 00:19:47,380 --> 00:19:49,300 Uh, a cafe cook. 238 00:19:50,620 --> 00:19:52,180 Which cafe? 239 00:19:52,180 --> 00:19:55,700 Well, really I just, I...I make cakes and bakes 240 00:19:55,700 --> 00:19:57,700 and sell them to different cafes. 241 00:19:57,700 --> 00:19:59,980 You know, just a home kitchen. Nothing big. 242 00:19:59,980 --> 00:20:01,220 Mm. 243 00:20:01,220 --> 00:20:02,660 Keeps me going. 244 00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:06,940 Well, I may have eaten a sausage roll of yours in my time. 245 00:20:06,940 --> 00:20:10,060 Spicy lamb rolls are my speciality. 246 00:20:14,500 --> 00:20:16,180 Wh-what do you do? 247 00:20:16,180 --> 00:20:18,980 Uh, solicitor. I work for Bristol City Council. 248 00:20:21,940 --> 00:20:24,620 Oh, listen, I'm not very good at getting served 249 00:20:24,620 --> 00:20:28,860 but can I buy you a drink, Anna? 250 00:20:35,140 --> 00:20:37,940 Er, one more and I'll be drunk. 251 00:20:37,940 --> 00:20:39,300 Oh. 252 00:20:41,740 --> 00:20:44,820 Uh, I'm, um, to be honest, I... 253 00:20:44,820 --> 00:20:49,580 I'm a bit bored of this place. 254 00:20:49,580 --> 00:20:52,940 Have you... Have you got somewhere we could go? 255 00:20:54,540 --> 00:20:56,500 Er, sure. 256 00:21:42,180 --> 00:21:43,300 Huh. 257 00:21:44,740 --> 00:21:47,100 You OK? 258 00:21:47,100 --> 00:21:50,020 Can I just say, you're in great shape? 259 00:21:50,020 --> 00:21:51,820 Better shape than me. 260 00:22:07,940 --> 00:22:09,820 SHE BREATHES SHAKILY 261 00:22:13,580 --> 00:22:16,980 Are you OK? Am I...? Am I going too fast? 262 00:22:16,980 --> 00:22:19,140 No. 263 00:22:19,140 --> 00:22:20,260 S, s, s, s, I'm sorry... 264 00:22:20,260 --> 00:22:23,060 I mean, this was your idea, wasn't it? 265 00:22:25,060 --> 00:22:28,380 No, it's, um... No, it's not... It's not you. 266 00:22:28,380 --> 00:22:31,060 Listen, I'm... I'm sorry if I... 267 00:22:31,060 --> 00:22:35,020 No, I'm, um... It's-it's not you. I'm-I'm sorry. 268 00:22:35,020 --> 00:22:37,580 Well, it's, it's, it's OK. I like you. 269 00:22:37,580 --> 00:22:39,900 I... I... Should I...? We... 270 00:22:39,900 --> 00:22:41,380 I can make a cup of tea? 271 00:22:41,380 --> 00:22:42,780 With some biscuits. 272 00:22:42,780 --> 00:22:45,460 Maybe we can, we can, we can talk about it? 273 00:22:45,460 --> 00:22:47,260 I'm, um... I'm... 274 00:22:51,020 --> 00:22:53,020 I can't. What you going? 275 00:22:53,020 --> 00:22:55,740 Can I call you? 276 00:22:55,740 --> 00:22:57,340 No... 277 00:22:57,340 --> 00:22:58,540 No. 278 00:23:00,380 --> 00:23:02,420 Anna? 279 00:23:02,420 --> 00:23:04,940 You've-you've done nothing wrong. This is... 280 00:23:04,940 --> 00:23:07,900 It's... It's my-my mistake. Please, please don't. 281 00:23:10,180 --> 00:23:12,220 I don't want this... I'm not ready. 282 00:24:14,980 --> 00:24:17,580 PRISON GATE BUZZES 283 00:24:24,300 --> 00:24:25,820 Father Hicks? 284 00:24:25,820 --> 00:24:27,620 Father Bennet. 285 00:24:27,620 --> 00:24:29,100 Call me William. 286 00:24:29,100 --> 00:24:30,260 David. 287 00:24:36,420 --> 00:24:39,220 OK, so you'll be meeting him in the multi faith room. 288 00:24:39,220 --> 00:24:41,900 It's up to you if you want someone in the room with you. 289 00:24:41,900 --> 00:24:43,260 I'll be OK. 290 00:24:43,260 --> 00:24:45,060 I think he genuinely wants counsel. 291 00:24:51,500 --> 00:24:53,780 DOOR BUZZES 292 00:25:08,620 --> 00:25:10,820 Guard staying out? 293 00:25:10,820 --> 00:25:12,060 You asked for me. 294 00:25:13,860 --> 00:25:14,980 Yes. 295 00:25:14,980 --> 00:25:17,020 I was surprised. 296 00:25:17,020 --> 00:25:18,220 Yeah. 297 00:25:23,060 --> 00:25:25,420 Am I here as a priest? 298 00:25:25,420 --> 00:25:26,620 Or as a man? 299 00:25:28,020 --> 00:25:29,300 As a priest. 300 00:25:36,580 --> 00:25:38,140 What do you want from me? 301 00:25:41,580 --> 00:25:43,020 I, um... 302 00:25:47,140 --> 00:25:48,980 Uh, they told me she's gonna be OK. 303 00:25:51,820 --> 00:25:56,180 I asked if I could call her but they... they said no. 304 00:25:56,180 --> 00:25:57,580 You thought they might allow it? 305 00:25:57,580 --> 00:25:59,300 I didn't know. That's why I asked. 306 00:25:59,300 --> 00:26:01,700 Why do you wanna speak to her? Because I love her. 307 00:26:05,540 --> 00:26:07,500 I wanted to hear her voice. Hear she was... 308 00:26:10,500 --> 00:26:13,020 Hear she wasn't in too much pain. 309 00:26:14,420 --> 00:26:15,940 What, pain that you caused? 310 00:26:20,100 --> 00:26:21,500 Yeah, I know, I know. 311 00:26:26,700 --> 00:26:27,900 Have you...? 312 00:26:30,660 --> 00:26:31,980 Will you visit her? 313 00:26:33,700 --> 00:26:34,860 I have. 314 00:26:36,900 --> 00:26:39,180 And is she...? She's in pretty bad shape. 315 00:26:43,540 --> 00:26:44,900 I don't know... 316 00:26:50,820 --> 00:26:54,980 I don't know how to stop. 317 00:27:01,820 --> 00:27:04,580 If she gives evidence against me they'll give me two years, maybe, 318 00:27:04,580 --> 00:27:08,220 and I'll be released on condition that I stay away from her. 319 00:27:08,220 --> 00:27:10,980 But... but she'll find me. Because that's her way. 320 00:27:10,980 --> 00:27:12,620 And... and then I'll just do it again. 321 00:27:12,620 --> 00:27:14,500 You've assumed a lot of things in that statement. 322 00:27:14,500 --> 00:27:16,460 Or she won't and I'll find someone else. 323 00:27:20,260 --> 00:27:23,500 I can smell it on 'em. 324 00:27:23,500 --> 00:27:24,940 The woman. 325 00:27:27,740 --> 00:27:31,820 The women who won't say no. The women that'll take it. 326 00:27:31,820 --> 00:27:33,820 I-I know who they are. Sounds like... 327 00:27:33,820 --> 00:27:36,300 Oh, what, you think there weren't others before her? 328 00:27:36,300 --> 00:27:38,020 Others during her? 329 00:27:40,180 --> 00:27:43,020 Yeah, it doesn't take a lot for me to get women. 330 00:27:43,020 --> 00:27:45,620 These hands have broken three jaws. 331 00:27:45,620 --> 00:27:47,020 I've stamped on hands. 332 00:27:47,020 --> 00:27:49,500 I've shattered legs, pelvises, eye sockets. 333 00:27:49,500 --> 00:27:51,300 One girl I almost ripped her ear clean off. 334 00:27:51,300 --> 00:27:52,620 What can you say to that? 335 00:27:52,620 --> 00:27:54,060 You sound almost proud. 336 00:27:55,420 --> 00:27:59,380 My mum, she walked with a... a hunch. 337 00:28:02,100 --> 00:28:04,620 Walking round the house with a bunch of washing 338 00:28:04,620 --> 00:28:06,140 in a cheap plastic basket, 339 00:28:06,140 --> 00:28:09,940 and this saggy face and this hunch... 340 00:28:12,500 --> 00:28:15,100 ...like she was always waiting for the gut punch. 341 00:28:15,100 --> 00:28:17,260 Why did you want me to hear that? 342 00:28:17,260 --> 00:28:18,780 What's the question? 343 00:28:21,660 --> 00:28:23,380 I'm thinking I need to kill myself. 344 00:28:25,940 --> 00:28:27,980 And I know that that is a sin, 345 00:28:27,980 --> 00:28:30,180 but I'm thinking it's all that I've got. 346 00:28:33,420 --> 00:28:36,300 It is the only way to stop me. 347 00:28:41,740 --> 00:28:44,020 And I'm asking for your guidance on that. 348 00:29:12,340 --> 00:29:13,620 OK. 349 00:29:16,660 --> 00:29:19,940 I think that you need help. 350 00:29:19,940 --> 00:29:22,300 Tried it. It didn't work. 351 00:29:22,300 --> 00:29:24,220 I think you need to try again. 352 00:29:26,420 --> 00:29:28,580 Father Bennet told me of a counselling service here. 353 00:29:28,580 --> 00:29:30,660 No. No. I just want to hurt them too. 354 00:29:30,660 --> 00:29:32,780 They think they're so fucking clever. They never are. 355 00:29:32,780 --> 00:29:33,980 I am actually clever. 356 00:29:33,980 --> 00:29:36,900 I can see how fucking thick they are and I won't have it. 357 00:29:38,540 --> 00:29:39,860 Do you think I'm clever? 358 00:29:39,860 --> 00:29:41,780 You? You're not as clever as you think. 359 00:29:44,060 --> 00:29:45,700 You are weak. 360 00:29:51,540 --> 00:29:53,980 I can smell the booze on you now. 361 00:29:55,140 --> 00:29:56,700 No. 362 00:29:56,700 --> 00:29:57,860 Fine. 363 00:29:59,220 --> 00:30:01,380 But I've smelt the booze on you before. 364 00:30:02,580 --> 00:30:05,820 And I know you go to those meetings. 365 00:30:05,820 --> 00:30:08,740 I've got friends in those meetings and they know you're weak too. 366 00:30:08,740 --> 00:30:10,300 Why... why's it matter what I think? 367 00:30:10,300 --> 00:30:11,860 Because I have said this. 368 00:30:15,580 --> 00:30:17,460 You are my priest. 369 00:30:17,460 --> 00:30:19,660 I've never much felt like your priest. 370 00:30:21,740 --> 00:30:24,460 You can talk to any priest. 371 00:30:24,460 --> 00:30:26,620 Maybe someone with some distance. Father Bennet. 372 00:30:26,620 --> 00:30:28,740 I don't know them. They could be kiddy fiddlers, 373 00:30:28,740 --> 00:30:29,940 or worse still, 374 00:30:29,940 --> 00:30:32,660 the pious fuckers who think that everything is easy. 375 00:30:32,660 --> 00:30:34,100 You're weak... 376 00:30:38,460 --> 00:30:39,860 ...but you're a good man. 377 00:30:41,300 --> 00:30:43,620 I've seen you and I know you're good. 378 00:30:43,620 --> 00:30:45,540 And you have been good to my daughter. 379 00:30:47,540 --> 00:30:49,020 I trust your judgment. 380 00:30:50,660 --> 00:30:54,780 I don't want this last act to be a sin. 381 00:30:54,780 --> 00:30:57,140 I want it to be an act of penance. 382 00:30:57,140 --> 00:30:58,780 And God is not talking to me right now, 383 00:30:58,780 --> 00:31:01,260 so I need to know from you, I need to know that... 384 00:31:01,260 --> 00:31:02,900 I need to be sure that this is... 385 00:31:06,140 --> 00:31:08,060 That penance is right. 386 00:31:20,220 --> 00:31:21,540 Good. 387 00:31:24,100 --> 00:31:25,620 Good, yeah, you're thinking. 388 00:31:29,660 --> 00:31:32,180 Well, there it is. I know I've said all I want to say. 389 00:31:34,380 --> 00:31:36,260 I'll trust your word. 390 00:31:44,020 --> 00:31:45,380 Yes or no? 391 00:31:45,380 --> 00:31:48,660 First foster home I went to was fine 392 00:31:48,660 --> 00:31:51,060 but they were only doing emergency care. 393 00:31:51,060 --> 00:31:54,100 The second was OK but we didn't get on. 394 00:31:56,020 --> 00:32:00,700 Third foster family I went to, I was five. 395 00:32:00,700 --> 00:32:02,860 I lived there for two years till I was seven. 396 00:32:04,660 --> 00:32:06,940 The oldest kid there was 14. 397 00:32:09,060 --> 00:32:14,060 I won't give him his name because he doesn't deserve it. 398 00:32:14,060 --> 00:32:16,260 To be honest, I don't need to hear the personal stuff. 399 00:32:16,260 --> 00:32:20,180 He thought I made too much noise. He liked to pinch me. 400 00:32:21,700 --> 00:32:24,940 Just little hard pinches that no-one saw. 401 00:32:24,940 --> 00:32:30,100 And I-I was a pretty scared child and I let him. 402 00:32:30,100 --> 00:32:32,980 And then it escalated a little. 403 00:32:32,980 --> 00:32:35,180 He'd punch me. 404 00:32:35,180 --> 00:32:37,420 Little rabbit punches he'd call them. 405 00:32:38,980 --> 00:32:40,780 He'd push me off things, and he'd... 406 00:32:43,740 --> 00:32:46,220 ...do everything he could, little things, to... 407 00:32:48,860 --> 00:32:50,460 He enjoyed my pain. 408 00:32:50,460 --> 00:32:52,340 I am not finding this interesting. I just want an answer. 409 00:32:52,340 --> 00:32:54,620 I didn't want to talk to my support worker about it, 410 00:32:54,620 --> 00:32:57,460 because I thought it was this or an institution, 411 00:32:57,460 --> 00:32:59,940 and I had my own room with this family 412 00:32:59,940 --> 00:33:01,940 and I really enjoyed the food, 413 00:33:01,940 --> 00:33:06,020 and I had a couple of friends at school that I liked to play with. 414 00:33:06,020 --> 00:33:08,500 And then my... 415 00:33:08,500 --> 00:33:11,020 The people who became my parents started to visit. 416 00:33:13,500 --> 00:33:15,500 And they were really special. 417 00:33:15,500 --> 00:33:17,620 Everyone could see. 418 00:33:17,620 --> 00:33:21,660 They smelt good. They were Catholic. 419 00:33:21,660 --> 00:33:24,460 Everyone knew that religious adopters were the best kind. 420 00:33:24,460 --> 00:33:27,580 Third time they visited, 421 00:33:27,580 --> 00:33:32,460 he followed me into the toilet 422 00:33:32,460 --> 00:33:35,780 and he slammed my head into the bowl and he held it, 423 00:33:35,780 --> 00:33:37,860 he tried to hold it into the water, 424 00:33:37,860 --> 00:33:40,020 he tried to drown me in the toilet water, 425 00:33:40,020 --> 00:33:42,500 but there wasn't enough water in the bottom of the bowl 426 00:33:42,500 --> 00:33:45,780 and so he pushed his hands around my head 427 00:33:45,780 --> 00:33:48,260 and I was bleeding. 428 00:33:48,260 --> 00:33:49,740 He strangled me. 429 00:33:56,220 --> 00:34:01,580 He strangled me so hard I lost consciousness. 430 00:34:04,620 --> 00:34:05,980 I... 431 00:34:05,980 --> 00:34:08,500 I don't know how. 432 00:34:10,420 --> 00:34:11,820 I don't who saved me. 433 00:34:15,780 --> 00:34:18,460 I was taken away from that foster family immediately, 434 00:34:18,460 --> 00:34:21,100 taken, actually taken in to... 435 00:34:21,100 --> 00:34:23,500 By the Catholics who adopted me. 436 00:34:26,740 --> 00:34:28,900 My point is... 437 00:34:28,900 --> 00:34:30,540 Actually, I have two points. 438 00:34:30,540 --> 00:34:32,820 My first is - I understand pain. 439 00:34:34,500 --> 00:34:38,060 I understand people who want to inflict pain. 440 00:34:40,500 --> 00:34:44,780 My second point is, that boy, me... 441 00:34:47,700 --> 00:34:51,660 ...I had no-one to talk to. 442 00:34:51,660 --> 00:34:52,940 No-one. 443 00:34:54,260 --> 00:34:57,540 And I...I've thought since then, 444 00:34:57,540 --> 00:35:01,740 I resolved I would never let anyone be alone like that, 445 00:35:01,740 --> 00:35:02,900 like I was, again. 446 00:35:06,100 --> 00:35:07,340 But... 447 00:35:07,340 --> 00:35:09,820 But I think you do need to be alone, Phil. 448 00:35:12,740 --> 00:35:15,380 Penance is about change. 449 00:35:15,380 --> 00:35:17,020 It's not about ends. 450 00:35:19,140 --> 00:35:21,620 If you commit the same sin, 451 00:35:21,620 --> 00:35:23,020 you can't just clean it off 452 00:35:23,020 --> 00:35:26,060 and you can't think one act cleans the slate. It doesn't. 453 00:35:26,060 --> 00:35:28,420 God doesn't work like that. 454 00:35:28,420 --> 00:35:31,540 God loves but God also expects. And what does he expect? 455 00:35:31,540 --> 00:35:32,900 He expects love. 456 00:35:35,500 --> 00:35:37,980 He expects love. 457 00:35:39,420 --> 00:35:42,300 For yourself and for others. 458 00:35:42,300 --> 00:35:44,300 And he expects you to be the best love. 459 00:35:46,140 --> 00:35:48,260 John 4:8. 460 00:35:48,260 --> 00:35:51,580 "Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. 461 00:35:51,580 --> 00:35:54,780 "Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God." 462 00:36:04,900 --> 00:36:07,820 So, no. No. I will not sit in judgment on your act. 463 00:36:07,820 --> 00:36:10,780 It's a sin how you've lived and if you kill yourself, 464 00:36:10,780 --> 00:36:12,380 it'll be a sin how you die. 465 00:36:14,660 --> 00:36:15,900 But I will say this. 466 00:36:17,660 --> 00:36:20,180 Yeah, you're right. I am weak. 467 00:36:22,140 --> 00:36:24,260 But you are weaker 468 00:36:24,260 --> 00:36:27,620 if you think you truly have no way of helping yourself. 469 00:36:30,500 --> 00:36:35,500 And I will be... I... I will do everything I can 470 00:36:35,500 --> 00:36:37,140 to help Bianca see this through 471 00:36:37,140 --> 00:36:42,100 so you stay in here for a very long time. 472 00:37:23,900 --> 00:37:25,780 DOORBELL RINGS 473 00:37:31,020 --> 00:37:32,780 Hi. 474 00:37:32,780 --> 00:37:34,540 Hello. 475 00:37:34,540 --> 00:37:36,180 This is a surprise. 476 00:37:37,660 --> 00:37:39,660 I, uh, thought about calling, 477 00:37:39,660 --> 00:37:42,100 but I didn't want to catch you unawares. 478 00:37:42,100 --> 00:37:45,100 Well, you caught me unawares on your last visit so... 479 00:37:45,100 --> 00:37:46,620 ...fair's fair. 480 00:37:46,620 --> 00:37:48,340 And you're cooking? 481 00:37:50,180 --> 00:37:52,100 The James family invited us over. 482 00:37:52,100 --> 00:37:54,060 I thought I'd make my apple cake. 483 00:37:54,060 --> 00:37:55,740 Chris? Chris! 484 00:38:00,460 --> 00:38:02,220 Well, don't let me stop you. 485 00:38:03,780 --> 00:38:06,540 Do you want to help? 486 00:38:06,540 --> 00:38:10,060 Yeah. Of course. 487 00:38:10,060 --> 00:38:11,700 Hmm. 488 00:38:19,700 --> 00:38:21,300 Hello. 489 00:38:21,300 --> 00:38:25,380 She's helping me now. You can go back to your room. 490 00:38:25,380 --> 00:38:26,620 Nice to see you. 491 00:38:26,620 --> 00:38:28,580 And you, Dad. Are you well? 492 00:38:28,580 --> 00:38:30,060 We're cooking. 493 00:38:42,380 --> 00:38:46,860 That was an odd thing to do, wasn't it? Forgot I had some out. 494 00:38:46,860 --> 00:38:49,020 Sure. 495 00:38:49,020 --> 00:38:50,980 You de-core and slice. 496 00:38:50,980 --> 00:38:53,020 I'll keep working on the rest of it. 497 00:38:53,020 --> 00:38:54,380 OK. 498 00:38:57,780 --> 00:39:02,580 Er, I've been making a yoghurt and apple cake, actually. 499 00:39:02,580 --> 00:39:06,380 We had a farmer who would swap... 500 00:39:07,940 --> 00:39:10,300 Ah. Doesn't matter. 501 00:39:10,300 --> 00:39:12,780 THUD! 502 00:39:12,780 --> 00:39:14,740 I hate it when you do that. 503 00:39:14,740 --> 00:39:18,700 When you're superior like that. "It doesn't matter." 504 00:39:20,860 --> 00:39:22,540 Like you are the arbiter of... 505 00:39:24,420 --> 00:39:26,380 I, um... 506 00:39:26,380 --> 00:39:30,620 I'm just... I'm just here to see you, Mum. 507 00:39:30,620 --> 00:39:33,060 I just want to help you make a cake. 508 00:39:40,660 --> 00:39:42,100 I like thin slices. 509 00:39:43,620 --> 00:39:46,260 Feels like they melt into the cake when they're thin. 510 00:39:59,580 --> 00:40:01,740 FOOTSTEPS APPROACH 511 00:40:11,700 --> 00:40:13,620 I need a lift, Dad. 512 00:40:14,780 --> 00:40:17,580 OK. Where to? 513 00:40:44,980 --> 00:40:46,660 Hello, Father. 514 00:40:46,660 --> 00:40:48,700 Hello. Um... 515 00:40:48,700 --> 00:40:51,380 I just wondered if Anna... 516 00:40:51,380 --> 00:40:53,340 Whether I could talk to Anna. 517 00:40:53,340 --> 00:40:56,540 Um... No, I'm afraid you can't. 518 00:40:56,540 --> 00:40:58,260 Look, I-I know I've made mistakes. 519 00:40:58,260 --> 00:41:00,780 I-I just want to explain 520 00:41:00,780 --> 00:41:03,500 or try to set things right, 521 00:41:03,500 --> 00:41:04,900 just talk to her. 522 00:41:04,900 --> 00:41:06,900 She's gone back. 523 00:41:06,900 --> 00:41:08,140 Back where? 524 00:41:16,580 --> 00:41:18,460 She... 525 00:41:18,460 --> 00:41:19,940 She left me a letter. 526 00:41:21,340 --> 00:41:24,020 Probably thought I'd try and convince her different. 527 00:41:30,780 --> 00:41:32,780 Do you... Do you want to come in? She's made a mistake. 528 00:41:36,100 --> 00:41:38,380 I think you've thought that a few times. 529 00:41:38,380 --> 00:41:39,740 She has. 530 00:41:42,020 --> 00:41:43,900 She took her skin off for you. 531 00:41:48,940 --> 00:41:52,060 Maybe she just wants to put it on again. 532 00:41:53,860 --> 00:41:55,780 Feel safe again. 533 00:42:01,420 --> 00:42:02,780 Yeah. 534 00:42:03,860 --> 00:42:05,460 HE SIGHS 535 00:42:12,540 --> 00:42:13,820 Anna? 536 00:42:17,380 --> 00:42:19,140 Oh, it is you. 537 00:42:19,140 --> 00:42:21,780 And looking so healthy. 538 00:42:21,780 --> 00:42:24,180 Look at that lovely hair. 539 00:42:24,180 --> 00:42:28,420 Hello, Polly. Hello, Agnes. 540 00:42:29,900 --> 00:42:32,540 I didn't think I'd see you again. 541 00:42:32,540 --> 00:42:34,860 You have light all through you. 542 00:42:53,220 --> 00:42:54,620 Hello. 543 00:42:56,940 --> 00:42:58,140 I... 544 00:42:58,140 --> 00:43:01,260 Are you in-in the middle of something or shall I...? 545 00:43:01,260 --> 00:43:02,620 Stay. Please. 546 00:43:06,180 --> 00:43:08,100 Please don't make this humiliating. 547 00:43:08,100 --> 00:43:10,700 I wasn't intending to. 548 00:43:10,700 --> 00:43:14,020 But may I ask why? 549 00:43:15,980 --> 00:43:17,700 This is my home. 550 00:43:17,700 --> 00:43:20,900 No. It is a home of God. 551 00:43:26,740 --> 00:43:28,420 Did he reject you? 552 00:43:28,420 --> 00:43:29,700 No. 553 00:43:30,740 --> 00:43:33,500 Are you going to change your mind again? 554 00:43:33,500 --> 00:43:34,700 No. 555 00:43:34,700 --> 00:43:39,660 Sorry to ask, I hope you know why I have. 556 00:43:39,660 --> 00:43:41,980 Is there still a place for me? 557 00:43:44,180 --> 00:43:46,380 Of course there is. 558 00:43:47,540 --> 00:43:50,060 I can do good work here. 559 00:43:50,060 --> 00:43:51,540 You always did. 560 00:43:53,380 --> 00:43:56,260 I, uh, I have my habit. 561 00:43:58,380 --> 00:44:02,580 If you want to, you may put it back on. 562 00:44:06,900 --> 00:44:09,180 You are loved here 563 00:44:09,180 --> 00:44:11,860 and we are pleased you have found your way back. 564 00:44:15,500 --> 00:44:16,820 I love you, too. 565 00:44:19,140 --> 00:44:24,180 And I will try not to expect you to be the same person now 566 00:44:24,180 --> 00:44:26,460 as you were when you left us. 567 00:44:29,100 --> 00:44:31,620 Though you do seem to be just as irritating. 568 00:44:33,660 --> 00:44:35,220 In the name of the Father 569 00:44:35,220 --> 00:44:37,580 and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. 570 00:44:37,580 --> 00:44:39,700 The Lord be with you. 571 00:44:39,700 --> 00:44:41,540 And with your spirit. 572 00:44:43,540 --> 00:44:48,180 Lord, we have sinned against you. 573 00:44:48,180 --> 00:44:50,180 Lord have mercy. 574 00:44:50,180 --> 00:44:53,420 Lord have mercy. 575 00:44:53,420 --> 00:44:57,660 Lord, hear our prayer to fill us as you filled your Son 576 00:44:57,660 --> 00:45:00,340 with love to fight the world. 577 00:45:02,260 --> 00:45:04,580 Help us... 578 00:45:04,580 --> 00:45:06,060 ...to... 579 00:45:07,100 --> 00:45:08,780 Help... 580 00:45:08,780 --> 00:45:11,180 Help-help-help us to... 581 00:45:13,300 --> 00:45:14,500 Amen. 582 00:45:14,500 --> 00:45:15,940 Amen. 583 00:45:17,060 --> 00:45:20,260 Show us. 584 00:45:20,260 --> 00:45:22,660 Show us your mercy 585 00:45:22,660 --> 00:45:24,700 and your love. 586 00:45:24,700 --> 00:45:27,180 And grant us your salvation. 587 00:45:30,060 --> 00:45:33,140 May Almighty God have mercy on us, 588 00:45:33,140 --> 00:45:35,980 forgive our sins 589 00:45:35,980 --> 00:45:39,700 and bring us to everlasting life. 590 00:45:39,700 --> 00:45:40,740 Amen. 591 00:45:40,740 --> 00:45:42,140 Amen. 592 00:45:42,140 --> 00:45:43,540 Amen.